Dear Houston Dynamo,
I want to start off by saying that nothing has changed between us. I’m still more in love with you than I have ever been. The thing is that I get the feeling you aren’t putting as much effort into this relationship as I am. I still recall a time when you tried to impress me every single time we were together. Remember all of those last minute surprises you gave me by earning a draw or victory in the final minutes of a game? That doesn’t happen as much anymore. In fact, I’ve lost hope that you’ll pull a fast one on me and eventually tie or win a game in the last minute.
Maybe it’s my fault that I’m currently feeling jaded by you. You were so amazing in the beginning of our relationship that I became accustomed to that level of amazingness. I don’t even know if “amazingness” is a word, and according to spell-check it isn’t. However, that’s the only word I can use to describe you in the early parts of this relationship. No relationship can be expected to burn that fiercely forever, right? Maybe I shouldn’t expect trips to exotic places like Kansas City, Los Angeles, New Jersey, or D.C. in late November/early December every year.
This is probably that rough patch in the relationship that tests out the strength of every relationship. We made it through 2010, and I’m sorry for bringing it up. I know we have chosen not to acknowledge that year, but even though it was a horrible year for us it only made our relationship even stronger. I really don’t care if you’re successful at work. I didn’t choose you over everybody else for the success. I love you because you always tried your hardest to make me happy. That’s all I really want to see from you. I don’t need some fancy vacation in late November to make me happy. All I really need to know is that you’re putting as much effort into this relationship as I am.
Please don’t make me suffer any longer. Show me that you care about this as much as I do. We both know I love you more than you love me. We also both know that no matter how badly you treat me, I’ll stick around. I just don’t want to look like a fool for sticking around. Please do this for me. Prove my friends wrong by showing them that you at least care a little. They don’t think you care anymore. They think you’re on autopilot. I know that you’re not. I ask this for you because I know that you listen, you just read my tweet and favorited it:
— Leo Ponce Jr. (@The_Ponce) July 22, 2014
That must mean something? Anyway, thanks for the amazing years we’ve been together. I look forward to many more. By the way, I know that I said I don’t care about success at your job, but those nice little trophies and jewelry you bring home after it sure are nice.